Happy New Year!! I love the newness, the time to reflect, stretch, grow, and think about what the new year has in store and what I can make happen!! I'd love to quickly share 3 lesson I learned, all of them really in the last few weeks of the year. Funny how life happens that way :)
Pain Brings Learning and Growth
Sometimes our most valuable lessons come at our darkest times, or right as we are coming out of them. I had an experience where I learned that a dear friend of mine is pregnant. I have overcome and healed so much of my agony that came from years of having a negative attitude, that I let myself wallow in, due to fertility struggles. I thought I could rejoice and be happy for her. I was not. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I was flooded with all those emotions again. Pain, sadness, despair, anger, frustration ... let's just say I had a REALLLLLY good cry. I allowed myself to feel this way. I didn't judge it, or try to tell myself otherwise. This went on for a few days, and then it just clicked. I realized that my dear friend probably needed a hug from me as much as I needed a hug from her. I decided to get out of my head, get over myself, and then just like that, it was gone! Not only was I able to feel better about it, I was able to TRULY feel happy for her. The pain I felt was purging an old part of me and bringing on the new, and I grew leaps and bounds because of it.
This year, I truly had a Christmas miracle. For the first time in my entire life of wanting to have a baby with my husband (10+ years), I got pregnant. An egg was fertilized and started to grow in my womb for 2 weeks. Then, when my cycle came, it naturally terminated and I had a miscarriage. I was astounded, in awe when this happened, and the last thing I felt was sadness! I was overjoyed, overcome with love and gratitude, excitement, and just pure happiness!! This might seem strange, but to me it was a chance to celebrate. I celebrated the fact that I am fertile, and that my body can make a baby!! Something I have been waiting for, longing for, pining for, for 10 years, actually happened. An immediate changed of state occurred at that moment. I wanted to shout to the hills "I am fertile!!" Up until this moment, I had never thought of myself as fertile. Now, I not only know that I am fully fertile (well actually that WE are fertile), I have faith that this will occur again when my body is healed and ready to grow a healthy baby to full term. I see this as a test run. Indeed, I truly experience a miracle this year at Christmas.
moving forward with faith and trust will move mountains
Letting go and having 100% faith is so liberating. Trusting that everything will work out in your favor, leaving the details up to God and the universe, is so empowering, yet extremely scary at the same time. Being scared, feeling the fear, is normal. One way to break through it is to realize that fear is just excitement in disguise! I have experienced many amazing moments where I have had all the trust and faith in the world, and then I have let go. When that happens, I get an email from a potential new client. Or a phone call comes from someone else that is looking for my help. Or a Facebook message pops up. Or an experience or opportunity opens up that I never thought possible. This happened to me quite a few times in the last few weeks of 2014. I made a decision to let something really big go, and things started lining up in a way I never could have imagined. I know that the more faith and trust I have, and the more I just allow and let things happen, everything will take the course that it is meant to. In this way, I let God lead my life, which allows me to do what He truly has in store for me. Before I know it, I will be moving mountains!
So, how was 2014 for you? What did you learn last year? What is worth leaving behind? What are you 100% committed to making happen for you in 2015? It's going to be an amazing year, I can feel it. Let's make it as awesome as it can be, and more!!
Cheers, to even more learning, growth, faith, trust, love, and miracles, in 2015!!!!